Dear Wendy,

I’ve been trying to grow my business, and I've been going to a few business chambers and ladies lunches to meet new people, but I’m worried I am coming across as insincere or overly eager. What are some mistakes I should avoid to ensure I’m building real connections and not just giving off the wrong impression?

Thank you,

Sarah from Adelaide

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Dear Sarah,

First of all, let me tell you—you’re not alone in feeling this way. Networking can be tricky, especially when you’re trying to balance being proactive with being authentic. I still remember my early days of networking when I made more than my fair share of mistakes. One, in particular, stands out.

Years ago, at a business mixer, I was determined to make an impression. I introduced myself to as many people as possible, rattling off all the services I offered and thrusting my business card into every outstretched hand. By the end of the evening, I was exhausted, and the worst part? I hadn’t made a single meaningful connection.

It wasn’t until later that I realized I’d been so focused on talking about myself that I’d forgotten the true purpose of networking—building relationships. From that humbling experience, I learned some valuable lessons, and I’m happy to share them with you.

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### Mistake #1: Making It All About You

At that mixer, I thought the goal was to showcase everything I could offer. I’ve since learned that networking is more about others than it is about you. People don’t want to feel “sold to”—they want to feel seen and heard.

Here’s my advice: approach each conversation with curiosity. Instead of talking about yourself, ask about them. “What brought you to this event?” or “What’s your biggest focus in your business right now?” are great openers.

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### Mistake #2: Not Listening Enough

Listening is a skill that can set you apart instantly. I’ve met people who made me feel like the most important person in the room simply by listening attentively.

I’ll never forget a gentleman I met at a BNI event who asked me, “What’s the one thing you wish people understood about your business?” That question caught me off guard in the best way, and it sparked a genuine, engaging conversation. The moral? Active listening creates connection.

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### Mistake #3: Overloading with Information

In my early networking days, I’d give everyone the entire rundown of my career, thinking it would impress them. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

A better approach is to keep your introduction concise and engaging. When someone asks what you do, focus on the impact you make. For example:

> “I help small businesses grow online by finding their ideal clients.”

That’s enough to spark interest without overwhelming the other person.

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### Mistake #4: Forgetting to Follow Up

I’ve had so many fantastic conversations at events that went absolutely nowhere because I failed to follow up. It’s an easy mistake to make, especially when life gets busy.

Now, I make it a rule to send a message or email within 48 hours of meeting someone. It doesn’t have to be long—just a quick note to say how much you enjoyed the conversation and to suggest staying in touch.

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### Mistake #5: Collecting Contacts, Not Connections

It’s tempting to think networking is about gathering as many business cards or LinkedIn connections as possible. But I learned that it’s not the size of your network that matters—it’s the strength of your relationships within it.

For instance, I once spent months nurturing a relationship with someone I met at a conference. When an opportunity arose that fit my expertise, they didn’t hesitate to refer me. That connection was worth far more than a hundred business cards I’d collected elsewhere.

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### Mistake #6: Neglecting Your Authentic Self

In one of my first speaking gigs, I tried so hard to emulate other successful speakers that I lost my own voice. It didn’t land well because it wasn’t me. Authenticity matters, Sarah. People want to connect with the real you, quirks and all.

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Final Thoughts

Sarah, networking is like planting seeds. You don’t see results immediately, but with care, consistency, and a focus on genuine connection, those relationships will grow and flourish.

Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes—what matters is that you learn from them.

Thanks for writing to me. I’d love to hear how your next networking event goes—please keep me updated!

Happy Connecting!

WLC