There’s a reason so many people hate networking.

It’s because they think networking means selling.

And honestly... most people don’t enjoy being sold to, and they definitely don’t enjoy feeling like they have to “pitch” themselves to strangers over coffee and a name badge.

But networking and selling are two completely different things. (And to be honest, if you feel uncomfortable selling, you're doing that wrong, too. You'll never believe it, but I have suggestions for people who can assist you in that skill, too!)

Strategic Networking, at its best, is really just making friends with purpose.

Not fake friends. Not transactional friends. Real human connections where both people are curious about each other and genuinely interested in helping where they can.

That shift in thinking changes everything.

Instead of walking into a room wondering, “Who might buy from me?” you start wondering things like:

Who can I learn from?

Who might need encouragement?

Who do I know that could help this person?

What ideas or resources could I share?

What do we have in common?

And ironically... when you stop trying to sell, people become far more interested in talking to you.

The truth is, most people you meet probably don’t need your product or service right now. And if they do, they may already have a provider they love.

That’s okay.

Because Strategic Networking isn’t about forcing opportunities. It’s about discovering whether there’s value you can create together.

Sometimes that value is a referral.

Sometimes it’s an introduction.

Sometimes it’s simply making someone feel seen, heard, encouraged, or more confident than they were five minutes earlier.

I was reminded of this recently at the GrowCon event in Salt Lake City, where I was speaking on day two. I attended the first day as a participant because I wanted to understand the audience, their challenges, and the conversations happening in the room.

And that’s where I met Carson.

We actually started talking because I complimented him on how great he looked in his suit.

He laughed and told me that if I saw him in his normal handyman gear, I probably wouldn’t recognise him.

Carson was in the middle of a huge career transition, moving from being a handyman into bookkeeping.

Now THAT is an interesting conversation.

Suddenly we weren’t talking about sales at all. We were talking about identity, confidence, relationships, opportunity, and strategy.

We talked about the kinds of people he should meet.

We talked about how his background in trades and handyman services might actually become his niche advantage in bookkeeping.

We talked about how to strategically grow a network that supports where he wants to go next... while still valuing where he came from.

And throughout the rest of the conference, every time we crossed paths, we’d smile, fist bump, high-five, and keep moving toward the next conversation.

It was fun.

No pressure.

No awkward sales pitch.

Just two people connecting.

By the end of the event, I’d made a new friend who lives roughly 12,500 kilometres away from me here in Sydney.

And thanks to LinkedIn, we’ll probably stay connected for years.

That’s what great networking looks like.

Not collecting business cards.

Not pitching strangers.

Not trying to “close.”

Just being interested enough in people to discover how you might help each other.

Because when you focus on making friends first... business often follows naturally.