Networking has been very good to me.

It has introduced me to clients, collaborators, ideas, opportunities and friends I would never have found by sitting behind a desk and hoping the right people discovered me.

I believe in it. I teach it. I have built a business around helping people do it more strategically.

And I will still say this...

Networking can waste an extraordinary amount of time.

There. I said it.

The problem is not networking itself. The problem is the belief that every room is valuable simply because it contains business people, name badges and a plate of pastries.

It is easy to confuse being busy with building something.

The upside is real

At its best, networking gives us access to things we cannot create alone.

We hear how another industry is solving a familiar problem. We meet someone who sees an opportunity we have missed. We find a supplier, mentor, referral partner, sounding board or future team member.

Good networks also make business less lonely.

Entrepreneurship asks us to make decisions without always having enough information. Leadership can make people assume we already know the answer. A strong network gives us places to ask better questions, test our thinking and learn from people who have already walked part of the road.

That is enormously valuable.

But value does not appear because we attended. It appears because we noticed, contributed, followed up and allowed relationships to develop over time.

The downside is real too

Networking can become another form of professional theatre.

We race from breakfast to lunch to drinks, collect a stack of cards, take a smiling photograph and post that it was wonderful to connect with so many inspiring people.

Then the cards sit on the desk. The LinkedIn requests pile up. Nobody follows up. A week later, we’ll do it again.

There is also an energy cost.

Not everybody gains energy from a crowded room. Even people who love meeting others can become tired by constant introductions, repeated small talk and the pressure to appear switched on.

If networking is leaving you exhausted, resentful or too busy to serve the people already in your business, that is not a sign that you are bad at networking.

It may be a sign that your strategy needs editing.

Not every invitation deserves a yes

Before I put an event in the diary, I find it useful to ask a few simple questions.

Who is likely to be in the room? Why is that group relevant to what I am building? Is the format likely to create real conversation? What would make the event worthwhile? And do I have time to follow up afterwards?

That last question matters.

If you meet ten brilliant people but have no capacity to continue any of the conversations, you may have created activity rather than opportunity.

Sometimes, the strategic decision is to attend and arrive with a clear purpose.

And sometimes, the strategic decision is “no.”

“No” is not anti-networking. “No” protects the time and attention required to make your existing relationships stronger.

Review the room after you leave

A simple review can tell you whether an event was useful.

Who did I meet or reconnect with? What did I learn? What is the next useful action?

The answer does not need to be a sale.

Perhaps you found someone worth inviting for a 121. Perhaps you promised an introduction. Perhaps the event helped you realise that a particular community is not where your best relationships are likely to grow.

That is useful information too.

Networking is powerful. It is not automatically productive.

The goal is not to be seen in every room. It is to choose the rooms where you can be curious, useful and genuinely present.

So, before you accept the next invitation because you feel you should... pause.

Will this room help you connect the right dots?

If not, you may be allowed to skip the pastries.

Happy Connecting!
WLC